Weakness
by KitschDoll
Summary: MizuiroTatsuki. A touch of weakness, a touch of want, and the drain of silence on reality  lime


That first night she came to him was after Ichigo, and Chad, and Ishida had disappeared into the void. She just stood in the doorway looking at the floor until he stepped back to indicate she was welcome to enter. He'd never noticed and wondered how it could be that she walked without a sound, had she always done that? Maybe he just never noticed because she'd always projected herself so strongly into the space around her. Even when she knelt to take off her shoes her clothes didn't rustle and her breath was silent. Neither had spoken and she moved so silently he began to believe she wasn't there at all.

He waited for her in the hallway till she stood again and he lead her to his room. The sound of his own steps echoed loudly in the silence while she made no sound at all and he had to repeatedly turn around to prove to himself that she was there at all. She sat in a chair by his bed whilst he sat on the bed itself and studied how downcast a figure she seemed, with her eyes still fixed on the floor. The silence stretched long as he took in everything about her appearance: the clothes, different to what she'd worn to school were rumpled and too big, her hair which seemed longer than it ever had because it was damp and not flicked out to the sides like usual but mostly how faded she looked without Inoue-san to care for, as though she'd turned in upon herself- fading inwards before receding so far she barely seemed to inhabit the same world as usual.

The silence began to weigh heavily on his mind growing louder and louder in his mind before he could bare it no longer extending a hand to flick on the radio resting at his bedside. She flinched with the click of the button and tightened her grip on the seat. Disembodied voices spilled out of the radio filling the air between them briefly before fading into the background. He was growing tired in the quiet and wondering mildly why she came to him of all people but she probably merely had no one else to turn to and upon close consideration he was all right with that. He stood far too abruptly it seemed to himself and knelt gently cupping her cheek to look into her eyes and proffering a hand to help her stand. She seemed more disheartened if possible probably thinking he was going to kick her out at this late hour. He stood her on her feet and motioned for her to stay before moving to his cupboard, retrieving a pair of shorts and two singlets and handing the shorts and a singlet to her before leaving the room and hoping she'd get the hint. He quickly stripped out of his own clothes bar his boxers in the hallway and slid the shirt over his head before picking up the disorganized pile and knocking twice briefly against the door. He only waited for a few seconds before she opened the door eyes, still downcast mimicking his earlier movements and motioning him back into his room before stopping hesitantly in his clothes near the door. Dumping his clothes in a heap next to hers only twitching minutely at the sight of her bra on top of the pile he leaned over to turn his bedside lamp on and drop the volume on the radio to a low hum from which snatches of notes could be discerned. He returned to the door and flicked the switch dimming the light to minimum before sighing heavily as he flopped onto his bed and climbed under the covers. He scooted backwards towards the wall and held the covers up with his right arm in a clear invitation.

"Hey." He said with a casual smile, like it wasn't the only phrase to pass either of their lips since she'd arrived. Her eyes flicked up from the floor and looked at him intently for a second or three before stepping lightly over to the bed and slipping in next to him. She didn't leave a deliberately large gap between their bodies but just enough to make it awkward. Luckily she was faced away so she didn't see the roll of his eyes at the carefully placed distance before he dropped the arm holding the covers down and curved his elbow to get a grip on her torso and pulling her gently towards him, until the curve of her tense back touched his torso.

"Relax, you're not the first girl I've shared a bed with, only this time I promise to be a gentleman." He breathed provocatively into her ear with a cocky smile in his voice almost hoping to provoke her into a fit of violence, anything to break her listless passivity. The only reply he received for his trouble and guilt for breaking the heavy silence was the curiously intense look, lasting a bit longer than was comfortable that she directed over her shoulder at him before relaxing slightly and shifting downwards so her head rested comfortably against the hollow of his throat. In return he wrapped an arm closely around her belly and kissed the top of her head before closing his eyes and drifting into slumber.

He woke sometime later to her eyes open and gently contemplating his face while her breath blew slowly against his neck in a way that induced a slight shiver. She calmly observed this reaction and blinked lazily flashing short thick eyelashes at him before her shadowed eyes stared into his once more. Even though he was the one to suggest their current arrangement thinking she just perhaps needed to be held gently for a while in order to bring her back to herself he was rapidly becoming uncomfortably aware of her proximity and the tantalising shadow of her breasts. She blinked again with an expression that spoke of a bit too much innocence on her face before hesitantly leaning forward and pressing her cool lips onto his. Pulling back he licked his lips experimentally before placing them once again onto hers this time with a bit more conviction. She began moving slowly and tentatively against his, sliding their lips back and forward, pursing slightly and pulling on his lips with her own. It occurred to him bizarrely in the back of his mind that this was the only thing she'd done since her arrival that was an exercise of her own initiative. He rolled onto his back gently and she followed keeping their lips joined and still gently moving as instinct dictated. He smiled slightly at her hesitancy and opened his lips a little, taking the lead and tracing her lips gently with his tongue until she followed suit. He moved his tongue gently back and forwards until she shyly allowed hers to graze against his struggling diplomatically for a few moments before he pulled back and gently kissed the corner of her mouth and her cheek before returning once again to her lips leaving her to direct him. He turned half his mind to his hands which he was surprised to find gripping the sheet spread over his mattress tightly as if intensely afraid to do the wrong thing. He unclenched them and reached to tentatively grip her hips, wary of frightening her and lifting gently til she propped up on her elbows, one each side of his head and sliding one of her knees between his, keeping it hesitantly just high enough above his knees so her torso remained held above his. He loosened his grip and laid his hands gently against her back moving them in slow circles gently upwards, fascinated by the soft steely texture of her skin. He gently kneaded her sides and back and she relaxed slightly as the singlet he lent her slid higher and higher exposing more of her skin for him to slide his hands over. He gently disengaged his lips from hers and froze when she made her first sound of the evening, a sigh, quiet, almost unnoticeable and accompanied by a small uplifting of the corners of lips which were slightly reddened making them look plump and inviting. He smiled into the half dark of his room and gently pressed his lips to her eyelids and then stared at her, willing her eyelids to open which they did after a few long moments. Her eyes stared almost blankly into his but the smile still hovering on the corners of her mouth betrayed her. He grinned at her then, he didn't usually grin, usually he lifted his lips in a slightly affected but sincere smile which made him look cuter in the eyes of all the ladies he usually dated, but this was a grin and it made him appear rakish and handsome like he really was. She watched him as his hands resting now on her shoulders pushed her back slightly before his eyes languorously dipped down below her collar bone to stare appraisingly at her now fully exposed breasts. She made her second noise of the evening then, a squeak as she jumped backwards and covered her breasts with crossed arms, returning her eyes to her lap and refusing to look him in the eye. He paused and admired the muscled almost convex stomach she possessed courtesy of countless hours of physical exertion and the exposed curve of her hips where his loose shorts had slipped down showing a hint of blue underwear. Conscious that to his knowledge she had never been involved with anyone of the opposite sex before yet still smug that he'd managed to slip the singlet up to bunch under her shoulders without her noticing. He leaned towards her, tilting his head near her chest and twisting his neck about to capture her eyes he was startled by the look of shame her eyes harboured. He reached gently for one of her wrists surprised by the seeming fragility of them but conscious like never before of the fact that she could pulverize him in an instant light she'd very nearly done to Ichigo earlier that day. He gently guided her wrist towards him turning it over gently and kissing her palm whilst staring into his eyes. There was no grin on his face just warm non-judgemental eyes, focused on her face not on her semi-nakedness, and a question. They'd gone so long with so few words between them and he hoped she knew what he was asking, hoped she knew what he meant. He was getting used to long silences between them but this one was a little too long, he tried to hold her eyes but uncertainty crept into his mind and onto his face, heralded by her eyes which were hidden by the straight fringe she was peering through. He dropped his eyes from her face and stared down at his lap. Who was he kidding, he didn't even know what they were doing here, why were they kissing why hadn't he tried to stop her, she was emotional and this surely wouldn't help her despite how good a idea it seemed right now. He wanted to seem confident because she seemed to need to be reminded what it was to lead like she usually did. Now that she wasn't as forceful and seemingly angry she seemed so beautiful to him. But no he'd made her uncomfortable and what exactly was going on. He looked at her again then, he had no idea how long had passed but she was still there an unnatural stillness almost mocking him for his tumultuous thoughts. Blank. Blank was how she seemed, there was no one there looking out at him and he couldn't quite suppress the shiver of spite which made him ask almost cruelly.

"Tatsuki, what are you doing here..." It was blank, a statement and he regretted it as soon as it was out, circling the room, he'd said her name now this was real, not just a dream. But he regretted more the fact that when he said it she turned her face to the side and shut her eyes, refusing to look at him.

"I'm here because you're one of the only people left who would understand how I feel. I'm here because I want to be. And I'm doing this because I have... always wanted to." His eyes widened at the last.

"Always wanted this, or always wanted me?" She looked at him then and he thinks that he's never seen a face so intense on anyone except Ichigo. Her look is hungry and wanting, and he sure that no one's looked at him like that before, with a look so raw and naked. Sifting through his memories of the ladies he's dated they all looked at him with the confidence most girls his age lack they looked into his eyes, some with smiles, some with grins, some with a vague disgust at him or themselves, some with a hint of sadness but none looked at him like she's looking at him now and that really seems to be something important. She doesn't have to answer, he thinks he knows already, he thinks there's no way that anyone could fake such a look, especially not her who has never really tried to hide who she was. But then she's reaching for his hands entwining their fingers and pressing them against her breasts and it doesn't seem to matter quite so much anymore because she's soft and warm and he can hear her breathing so he knows she's really here with him. She used her hands to press his to her for a few moments until the his shock wore off and he started to caress her of his own accord then she lent down and kissed him again, hard. Pressing them together and sucking on his lips until it seemed a little of his soul crept into her as well and she smiled at him before leaning back and pulling her singlet off entirely and pausing half naked and allowing him to gaze at her as she cups her breast and looking into his eyes licks one of them a few times before leaning back over him. He pulls her tightly onto him, catching his breath as her knee brushes close to the apex of his thighs before rolling her over firmly closer to the edge of the bed. Pinning her down as she tries to connect their mouths again he glances down and arches an eyebrow questioningly at her and he's wearing that same rakish grin as before so she just smiles and nods because he could do anything to her and she wouldn't object because he's still grinning that grin. She's not quite prepared for it however and lets out a shuddering breath as he sucks on her breasts biting and licking them before moving his tongue down her torso and she realises what he's going to do and doesn't want to give him total control just yet so she lifts a knee off the bed and traces her toes up his leg before pressing her hips up to meet his and rubbing her thigh softly against the apex of his legs . He shakes a little and looks up at her from a vantage point just below her breasts narrowing his eyes at the smug grin she's wearing, he opens his mouth to admonish her for distracting him but all that comes out is a heavy moan as she rubs against him again, and again, until he's shaking and he's breathing heavily onto her stomach and it tickles just a little and she laughs and he looks at her hurt and slightly confused.

"Shhh it's nothing, it tickles is all.

"Oh, well then..."


End file.
